Monday, July 31, 2006

Bra Eaters...

i have two adorable pooches. Toxilabmix (aka, Bastian) is a wonderful pet. very well behaved and loving, as long as you are me. if you arent' me, he will very likely bite you. unfortunately i'm not joking. here's a picture, doesn't he look ferocious?

Then there is toxipittmix, aka Jewel. she's a total cupcake. a lovebug. likes nothing more than to be right on top of whomever is in the room. however, if you are a small dog, stay away. of course, she is a pittbull mix and is therefore very very dangerous and should be feared. doesn't she make you want to pass breed legislation?

i love my dogs. i really do. they bring me a lot of joy and many laughs. but jewel eats my clothing. she seems to especially love bras and things with straps. i've gotten better about not leaving things about where she may find them, but occasionally i slip. she's most infamous for eating a brand new beautiful purple bra. i was devastated because i never even got to wear it! she actually dug it out of the plastic shopping bag to eat it.

so i was out of town this weekend and got home late last night. this morning i dumped the contents of my backpack on my bed and forgot about it. i should
have known something was up when toxipitt was leaving me alone during my dinner. she wasn't sitting on my feet with her head in my lap watching every bite that went into my mouth. now i know why. those are two new tank tops. i've worn them once. i guess i should be happy i got to wear them once and that they were very much on sale when i bought them. notice the wet drooly look of the green tank. i HATE THAT DAMN DOG!

i should admit that i assume it was jewel. it could have been bastian, but that is doubtful. if i had one of those handy-dandy DNA-instomatics like they have on CSI i could use the slobber all over the destroyed top to provide irrefutable evidence, but since such an instrument doesn't actually exist i'll have to be content to convict jewel via circumstantial evidence only.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

So, just who is Toxigal?

it is always polite to start with introductions. i'm toxigal. 31 years old. single. happy. liberal. okay, let's be honest, damned near socialist. popcicle lover. tv addict. i live in baltimore with 2 toxidogs, 2 toxirabbits and 1 toxiroommate. i'm a chemist by education, forensic scientist by training and current doctoral student in forensic toxicology. so, you see, toxi- refers to my career choice, not my personality. mostly.

i created this blog long ago on a whim. then i never wrote anything. i'm a chemist, not a writer. when i do write it usually involves words like "buprenorphine" and formulas that i don't actually understand. you see, i'm not only a chemist studying to be a toxicologist, i'm also a fraud. any day now i'm going to go into work and they are going to realize that i don't have a clue what i'm doing. what makes it worse is i used to testify in court. as an expert. i would sit up there in the witness stand and talk about the mass spectra of drugs. i'd peer at the jury and they'd listening intently, taking in every word, weighing them carefully so they could use the information i was presenting ot come to an educated decision on the fate of the accused. okay, let's be honest, they were usually sleeping. which is good, because if they were awake they may have become accutely aware that i failed spectral chemistry. yup, that's right. i failed spectral chemisty. of course, you have to pass it to be given a degreein chemistry so i did manage to squeek by with a C the second time around.

wait, i got way off track there. this blog. i created it but then realize i haven't a clue what i should talk about. i don't have much to say.. but i do like to talk about myself. but i'm boring. so, i decided i should talk about something that seems to have captured the minds of the american tv viewing public...forensic science. CSI is really really popular, so as a forensic scientist people will hang on my every word if i talk about my job, right? unfortunately i don't have the creative minds of the writers of CSI. and i'm quite sure CSI does not have a technical advisor. i've never watched an entire episode because i get frustrated. i get so mad that my job was never ever anywhere near that exciting. i never once got to shoot a pig with an uzi! heck, i never even got to talk to a suspect! on the positive side, the labs i've worked in always had lights. and every forensic scientist i know works day shift.

so...what will toxic thoughts bring to the blogosphere? a little bit of this (fun forensic science talk) and a little bit of that (the softer side of me loves talking about things like shoes, pretty dresses, good food, and every now and then i work up a really good political rant). maybe in the fall i'll start watching CSI and offer my not-really-at-all-because-i'm-a-fraud-but-i-like-to-pretent-i'm-a-forensic-scientist expert opinion on the science in each weeks episode.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

My first blog...

It's all experimental....